"Kathryn, why did you always have dogs instead of cats?"

It takes her a moment to come back, her mind still flooded of memories of Kes. "There were always barn cats having kittens. Bear used to mother the kittens of the cats who would let her near." She shifts in the bed to face me. Her eyes glint in the darkness. "Then when I was about 10, I fell in love with a particular kitten -- a beautiful little calico with green eyes -- and convinced my mother to let her live in the house with me. That only lasted until she started bringing home presents -- Phoebe couldn't bear finding maimed birds on the dining room floor....."

Her voice drifts off. All she can find tonight are the disappointments, and maybe that is my fault. Right now, though, she has given me enough for a story. Perhaps with this one, I can make her smile.

"Kathryn, did I ever tell you about the time Neelix found a mouse hole in his kitchen?"



Cat and Mouse Games
by Aspen Mountjoy


Seven paused just inside the entrance to the Mess Hall. Her adopted culture never failed to surprise her, but she had a feeling that the scene before her was unique, even for humans.

"Get it!"

"Where'd it go?"

"There, there! Under the table."

Megan and Jenny Delaney huddled on top of one of the mess hall's tables, one letting out a shriek the minute the other stopped to gasp for more shriekable air. They seemed to be complementing each other quite well. Neelix had a huge colander, and was making life much more dangerous for the surrounding humans than he was for whatever had just run under a table on the far side of the room. Various other members of the crew were wielding brooms, large pots and a creative variety of other weapons, as they converged on their prey.

Tom Paris leaned against the serving counter, laughing outright at the antics of his fellow crewmembers. He slapped his com badge, "Paris to Security. We've been boarded by aliens. Please report to the Mess Hall." His delighted chortle brought a pained look to the face of the impassive Security Officer whose morning had just been irretrievably corrupted.

Meanwhile, the Captain was just entering her Ready Room for the start of her shift. In spite of the nearly empty coffee mug in her hand, alertness was not her foremost attribute. She blearily rubbed a hand across an aching forehead and crossed towards the replicator, which was located on the far side of a small coffee table. Halfway around the table, her foot hit something unexpected and soft. Slightly slippery, too. Her legs went flying out from under her, her coffee cup, suddenly minus it's contents, took a flying leap across the room, and her left hand came in contact with what she'd slipped on. Looking down, her startled cry became a shriek that rivaled that of the Delaneys', two decks below.

Chakotay, ever protective of the diminutive (and Adorable) redhead who had captured his heart, heard her scream as he exited the turbolift. Without stopping to announce his entrance, he barged into the Ready Room to find his Courageous, Steadfast (and Adorable) captain huddled in her desk chair. She'd gone completely pale, and one hand covered her mouth in horror while she regarded the other with something approaching revulsion. She didn't seem able to speak; when she saw her Large, and Masculine First Officer, she simply pointed with the damaged hand towards the coffee table.

Because this pale and shaken woman was, after all, his Steadfast and Courageous Captain, Chakotay fully expected to find a naked, pompadoured Kazon reclining on the Ready Room couch. All he could find, however, was a rather wet coffee-colored carpet stain, and the half-eaten carcass of a very small, very dead ....... mouse.

Surmising, that this very small, very dead mouse was no longer a danger, he turned his attention to his Bold and Steadfast Captain. She looked like she might be going into shock; at any rate it was a grand excuse to hold and comfort her. He grabbed a quilt from the back of the couch and reached for a small pillow that was resting next to the quilt.

"Meeeerrroooooowwwww!" said the pillow.



B'Elanna was NOT interested in dealing with a localized power outage that required her to crawl through Jeffries tubes at 0700 hours. Even Klingon knees didn't appreciate the punishment. Her headlamp sent shadows scurrying to the far depths of the long tube she was advancing through. This particular passage smelled somewhat musty, she thought, and she kept imagining the skittering of small creatures.

Why, oh, why hadn't she replicated some Klingon coffee this morning? The faint blush that crept up her cheeks when she remembered the exact reason distracted her from her aching knees for several meters. Thus, she was brought rather rudely back to the present when one knee contacted something…. squishy. The headless carcass that appeared in her headlamp slammed her back into her coffeeless funk.

"Bleeeeaaahhh," she muttered with feeling. "Torres to Security. Evidence of alien invasion in Jeffries tube #17G. "

Skirting the small carcass with a squeamishness she'd never have admitted to in public, she crawled the few remaining meters to the gelpack access she needed. When something small ran across her hand, she cursed Tom Paris murderously.



Harry Kim mumbled in his sleep and groggily stroked the purring warmth against his chest.

"Whhaaaaat?" He sat bolt upright in bed, rubbing his eyes, as the furry warmth made for distant and dusky corners.

"Aaaaa---- ahhhhh - CHOOOOO!" Definitely a cat. On Voyager? In the Delta Quadrant?

"Smmmmiiiirffffttttt" Harry strangled the next sneeze and blearily wondered if he could get to Sick Bay before his eyes ... "Aaaaachooo!" ... swelled closed. He'd 'thought' "sneefffffetttttt" he was safe from this problem ... 'choo' ... on a freakin' starship, for ... AAAAA, AAAAAA, AAAA, chooooooo! ... Pete's sake.

Pete was probably related to Murphy...


* * *

I've watched her smile at some of my more outrageous descriptions, but this final dry comment finally earns me a full-fledged grin. Kathryn shifts herself so she is sitting up against the pillows, and playfully slaps the air above my head.

"Okay, mister, you've had your fun. Now it's my turn." I will do anything for the twinkle in those eyes. I nod my acquiescence.

* * *

"Attention, Senior Officers. Please report to an emergency staff meeting at 0800 hours in the Bridge Conference Room." The Captain's voice came over the commlink, it's usual precision slightly marred by a low rumble in the background. Her attention diverted, she inadvertently left her finger on the commlink microphone long enough for her next sentence to float throughout the ship. "Chakotay, it's only a scratch - don't be such a baby."

Tom Paris allowed his attention to be briefly diverted from the live entertainment being provided in the mess hall. He needed a moment to consider the ramifications that the Captain's comment might have on the most popular betting pool. Clearly, emphasizing the romantic aspects of the Commander's relationship with Janeway (Virile and Handsome though the First Officer might be), was not going to win Paris any replicator rations tonight.

B'Elanna snorted, "I'm glad someone else is having a bad morning." She fit the access panel back into place and turned to retrace her journey, carefully avoiding the carcass she'd met so pleasantly a few minutes before. Maybe, if she hurried, she'd have time to grab a cup of Ractijino out of the replicator in her office.

"AAAAAAAH . . . ahhhhhh" Harry took a cautious breath and nodded at the Doctor, whose supercilious smirk was just visible to his slowly opening left eye. "Well, Mr. Kim, I recommend you not pursue intimacy with any more aliens, at least until the antihistamine takes affect." Harry wondered if said aliens could be persuaded to knead the doctor's holographic knee or give him holographic hives.

Neelix took a flying leap reminiscent of Vince Lombardi and slapped the colander down with a crash. The small gray alien left behind a quarter centimeter of tail and dashed for the nearest air duct. Mr. Paris could still be heard chuckling from his comfortable perch atop the buffet counter.



As the Senior Officers trailed bedraggledly into the conference room, the Captain entered carrying a loudly purring Calico. Her usually loyal (and still Handsome) First Officer, nursing a hand still bleeding from his confrontation with the pillow, gave the Captain a wide berth and settled into a chair two places down from his usual position at her side.

Seven of Nine took her seat, still contemplating why the Borg would ever have wanted to assimilate a Talaxian, let alone the Delaney sisters. Her aural implants desperately needed a mute button.

* * *

Kathryn pauses as I laugh, and I raise myself from the bed to sit beside her. Giving me a satisfied smirk, she lifts herself over my leg to settle in my lap, and leans back against my chest. She wraps my arms around herself and snuggles down. I make a silent bet with myself that this story will be our last tonight. The demons have been banished by a small, multi-colored kitten.

* * *

Neelix arrived, still clutching his colander and limping slightly. Harry Kim seemed to find a new place to scratch every time Paris looked at him. He looked a little the worse for wear. Paris was just about to ask him about it when his attention was distracted by a rather lovely half-Klingon who bore a coffee mug the size of a 1937 Chevy's gas tank and a scowl that rivaled it. Gods, she was beautiful when she was angry!

"Alright, people, please come to order." The Captain's voice was gentler than usual, and the softness in her face, as she found the best places to scratch her companion, belied her usual business-like persona.

"We seem to be dealing with a rather unusual phenomenon here this morning. While the feline half of this invasion seems amiable enough," she glanced at Chakotay and smothered a grin, "mice are vermin. We'll need to deal with them before they cause more problems than they already have. Mr. Tuvok, where have the mice and cats shown up, so far? Can we assume this is a ship-wide problem?"

"Yes, Captain. I have teams checking the entire ship. The infestation appears to have originated in Cargo Bay 2 and spread throughout the ship."

Neelix spoke up, "Captain, my entire store of leola root was in Cargo Bay 2 and can be considered a total loss!.."

Paris murmured, "Clearly, this invasion must be stopped before we lose anything more."

The Captain hid a grin, as did several other people around the table. Even Ensign Kim and Chakotay forgot their personal miseries in light of this encouraging information.

"On twentieth-century Earth, rodent invasions were often controlled with the use of mouse traps. They were simply a flat wooden plate with a spring-controlled mechanism that decapitated or killed the mouse when it stepped onto the plate to retrieve bait such as a piece of cheese," Tom continued.

"Do we know these creatures are not sentient?" Chakotay asked.

"They do not appear to be, Commander," replied Tuvok. "As the Captain has noted, the felines do have some characteristics that are pleasing to humans." His eyebrow seemed to inch up his forehead as he delivered this last statement.

"I have tested the corpses that have been found," contributed The Doctor. "There is no evidence of disease that will seriously affect the ship's crew. However, I recommend gassing Cargo Bay 2, as there does seem to be an added infestation of fleas, a small insect known to cause itching in both humans and felines on Earth."

Newly inspired, Harry resumed his scratching. It was going to be a very long week.....

* * *

The soft snore of my captain resembles the purr of a well-fed and contented cat. I lay her down against the pillows and slide down in the bed beside her, ready for sleep myself.


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